If you get a group of women together for any occasion over a period of time, there is bound to be some drama within the group. I am currently in the heart of wedding season and planning a wedding can be very stressful on its own, add family and friend drama to it and the whole thing can become overwhelming. When consulting on a wedding, I am here to take some of, if not all of the logistical stress out the equation; however, family and friend drama is beyond my scope. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly unfold right before my eyes; the good news is this doesn’t happen often and most of it is avoidable.

Here are my tips to avoid becoming the dreaded Bridezilla:

  1. Remember your wedding day is important to everybody around you but it is most important to you and your groom. You cannot ask your bridesmaids to hold off on having babies just to fit into their dresses or to put their careers on hold to be at your every appointment over the months it takes to plan your wedding.
  2. Relax; if everything isn’t going according to plan, you and your groom are the only ones that know the real plan for the day. Getting angry and upset at the people you have hired is not going to result in the better customer service. If you have a tantrum the only one you are going to embarrass is yourself.
  3. Be considerate of your bridal party, they are the people that you have asked for help. Everybody knows that the wedding day is all about you but you need to set clear and realistic expectations. I don’t expect you to compromise your vision but it isn’t fair to ask the people you love to step too far outside of their comfort zone or to go into debt over your wedding.

The best way to avoid becoming a Runaway Bridesmaid is to not sign up if you aren’t prepared for the following:

  1. Being in a bridal party is a financial commitment, be prepared to spend upwards of $1,500 between the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, bridal showers, stagette and gifts. Add more to that if it is a destination wedding.
  2. During anything wedding related, remember this is not your wedding. Nothing to do with this day is about you. You are basically an employee of the bride, chosen out of love and respect but you are there to help the bride.
  3. You are going to be asked for your opinion on many aspects of wedding planning that you never imagined. Be prepared to be honest with the bride but don’t try to change her vision because something isn’t your taste. Pointing out a potential wardrobe malfunction is helpful, making suggestions for a backup plan in case of rain is helpful, criticizing the bride’s vision for a country wedding is not helpful. If she’s into country, you had better learn how to line dance.
  4. You won’t have to put your life on hold because you are in a bridal party but there is a time commitment. You need to be available for all of the major appointments and pre-wedding parties such as bridal showers, stagette, and rehearsal. There is no need to be on-call 24/7 leading up to the day but you must be available as much as life permits.

As a bridesmaid if a bride has become a Bridezilla and you’ve addressed it and nothing has changed, it is okay to remove yourself from a wedding party. By choosing not to be a part of this special day after you have already committed, you may be removing yourself from a friendship at the same time. As a Bride if you are dealing with a Runaway Bridesmaid, after thinking and talking it over, if it just isn’t working: you have every right to dismiss a bridesmaid. Just remember, weddings are about celebrating love and commitment and joining people together, not ripping them apart.